


If the World Was Ending

by Old45s (captainpororo)



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: An earthquake decides to intervene, Angst, Arin is in Japan, Based on a song, Dan and Arin are struggling, Dan is in California, Earthquakes, Emotionally Repressed, Eventual Romance, Friends to Lovers, Identity Crises, M/M, Mutual Pining, Natural Disasters, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, Slow Burn, The Grumps took a hiatus, Unhappy marriage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:21:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26134909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainpororo/pseuds/Old45s
Summary: When calamity strikes, Dan is forced to confront the skeletons in his closet.Suddenly cut off from everything he once knew, Arin’s fears have never seemed so irrelevant.
Relationships: Dan Avidan/Arin Hanson, Dan Avidan/Unnamed Female Character, Suzy Berhow/Arin Hanson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 13





	1. Far from Home

✧ ❂ ✧

Dan’s legs are hanging loosely from a barstool as he scribbles mindlessly on a sheet of paper, drowning the sound of some football game playing in the background. He plans to finish his latest song-writing project tonight, and the local pub serves as the perfect ambience to keep him in focus.

“Here’s your second cup of coffee,” Alfred, the bar-keep then says, bringing a steaming mug to Dan, interrupting his stupor. “This is also your last one, Dan. It’s getting late.”

“Geez, Alfie. I’m an adult, I can drink coffee at night if I want,” The singer chides lightheartedly, flashing the man a warm smile. He lifts the warm mug and brings it to his lips, eyes falling back to the task before him. He almost gets back to writing when in his periphery, he spots slight movement.

His mug shook ever so slightly that he would have thought he was imagining it except that he notices everything else in the bar quiver for a moment, including the bottles neatly stacked on a shelf behind Alfred.

He looks at the man, who’s sporting an equally alarmed look on his face. “Was that—”

“Holy shit, that’s an earthquake. Everyone, get out!” Alfred yells, “Quickly, it may happen again!”

People in the pub slowly start standing, most of them now realizing what happened. When Alfred himself starts packing his things from the counter and loudly shoos everyone out, Dan wastes no time and heeds his friend’s advice, tucking papers under his arm and bolting out the door.

Dan is panting when he reaches his car and he clutches his chest for a moment to calm himself down. Earthquakes aren’t an uncommon occurrence in California, but he had to admit this one spooked him as he could clearly see everything shaking. It had to be a magnitude 5.0 quake at least, he guessed.

Silently praying that no other tremors occur, the singer drives home. Still feeling uneasy, Dan decides to turn his radio on to distract himself from wallowing too much on what happened.

“… a magnitude 5.9 earthquake tonight at approximately 10:23 PM, taking everyone by surprise. We’re receiving reports that a few minutes prior, another earthquake hit--”

Dan frowns, quickly turning the radio off. He continues the drive home in silence.

He sees Camilla waiting for him, her tail wagging excitedly as he draws nearer. Her golden fur is what first greets him as he opens his front door, and she licks his face frantically when he crouches down to pet her. “Oh, sweetie,” he giggles, “Your breath stinks, but I appreciate the welcome even though I’ve only been gone for two hours.”

“You know her, she misses you if she doesn’t see you for a minute,” a voice pipes up from the living room. Dan chuckles and bounds towards the woman on the couch, plopping down beside her and giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. She smiles, pecking the singer’s lips. “I missed you too.”

“How was work today?” Dan asks, carding his fingers through her hair. He notices that the show she’s watching has just ended, and they’re now flipping through different channels.

“Pretty hectic,” she replies. “Not everyone can afford a month-long hiatus and keep earning money like the freaking Game Grumps,” she adds, laughing softly.

“What can I say? We’re pretty awesome, you should try working for us sometime,” he smiles, resting his head on her shoulder as she settles on some late-night news. “Did you feel the earthquake a while ago? It scared the shit out of me.”

She hums an affirmative. “I thought I was just imagining it, but I got texts from the office telling me it was apparently an earthquake. It was pretty strong.”

As if on cue, the earthquake was the next thing featured in the news, and both of them watched in silence as the screen panned to different shots of shaking home and office footage. Dan bit his inner cheek; eyes glued to the screen.

“Moments before the tremors were felt all around North America, the other side of the world began to shake at alarming rates. At 10:17 PM, a magnitude 8.2 earthquake was recorded in Okinawa city, Japan, and hundreds of families had to evacuate as structures started to fall to the ground. Experts suspect that hundreds of people have been severely injured or trapped due to this disaster. As of this moment, we have recorded 56 fatalities and this number keeps growing by the second. The Japanese government has declared a state of calamity in the island of Okinawa, and emergency rescue protocols have been implemented all over the critically hit region of Kyushu.”

The television shows footage of skyscrapers swinging wildly and public plazas erupting in chaos as the reporter elaborates on how thousands of people were still being evacuated, but Dan has long since stopped listening. His hand is frozen from where it previously rested on his girlfriend’s shoulder, and he feels a low shiver crawl from his spine.

_It can’t be._

Flashes of warm brown eyes, a booming voice laughing, and the faint smell of peach shampoo slam into Dan in full force, making his eyes water as panic continues rising from within him.

“Dan?” Her worried face comes to view and he feels her warmly cupping his cheeks. “Danny, stay with me. Breathe, sweetheart.”

_It just can’t be._

Dan suddenly stands, blindly reaching for his cellphone and sprinting out of the house. Before he knows it, he’s in his car, muttering a low “please, please, pick up,” under his breath as fumbles to start the car. Soon, the small silhouette of his girlfriend standing on his front door becomes smaller and smaller on his rear-view mirror as he drives off into the night.

Dan curls his fingers into a fist and raps thrice on the wooden door in front of him. He’s about to do it again when the door swings open, revealing a disheveled Suzy. She looks tired, and the way her shoulders slump over doesn’t escape Dan’s attention. Her signature eyeliner has run down to her damp cheeks, and seeing such a sight deepens the pit of nervousness in his stomach.

“Dan,” she sobs weakly, and the singer steps closer, pulling her into a tight embrace as she breaks down in tears. “I can’t contact him and I’m so fucking scared,” she whispers between sobs, “What if he’s hurt? W-what if he—”

“We’re going to try again,” Dan swallows, his grip on her tightening ever so slowly as he shakes his head to keep the thoughts away. “Arin is a fighter, Suzy. Wherever he is now, he’s fighting hard, and we have to let him know we’re fighting with him.”

When both of them finally calmed down, Dan calls their manager, Brent, and tells Ross, Bryan, and Allie to come over. Meanwhile, Suzy makes some calls to the U.S. Embassy in Tokyo and the contacts Arin’s parents. While waiting for everyone to arrive, Dan calls Arin on Discord a few more times and blasts every single one of his social media accounts with messages. He lets Suzy talk to Ross and Giwi, who were the first to show up. There’s nervous tension in the air, and Dan can feel everyone collectively holding their breaths when Brent, upon his arrival, informs everyone that Arin’s hotel happens to be near the epicenter. Brent regretfully added that the corresponding hotel staff could not confirm whether Arin was evacuated safely from the hotel premises.

“I shouldn’t have let him go to Japan alone,” Ross mutters under his breath, and Dan can see as his friend’s eyes begin to water.

 _Please_ , Dan pleads silently. _Please let him be okay._

On the other side of the world, a man lies unconscious near a pile of rubble. There’s a gash on his leg and it's slowly bleeding out as his shoulders continue to rise and fall steadily. Constant pounding can be heard from a distance, which slowly grows louder, reaching the man’s ears. Consciousness comes to the man, and his eyes fall open just in time to look up and see a group of people running through a broken door and towards him.

His vision is blurry. He can’t quite make out what is being said to him as he is slowly scooped up and assisted out of the room, which he belatedly realizes, is his hotel room.

It’s only as he is being placed in a stretcher that he realizes what they’re asking in broken words he starts to understand. He nods, slowly.

“Yes,” he grunts weakly, “That is me, I am Arin Hanson.”


	2. Alive

✧ ❂ ✧

It was around two months ago that Danny started noticing some things about his co-host, Arin. One day, the man showed up to work at two in the afternoon with puffy eyes and unkempt hair. Arin holed himself up in his office, unwilling to answer anyone who dared to knock or peek through the window. Dan tried to ask the man about it, but Arin only shook his head and assured Dan that he will figure things out and everything will be fine. 

It was only a matter of days before Arin went back to his normal, cheery self. Dan allowed himself to think that everything was okay. Somehow, he couldn’t shake off the uncertainty crawling on his skin. 

One day, after finishing a gruesome six-hour recording session, Arin looks to Dan and says, “I’ve been thinking…you know how we’ve had a rough year?”

Dan remembers humming in affirmation. The channel continues to perform well, but with the change in YouTube algorithms and the surge of competing channels’ audience, Game Grumps hadn’t been in the best position these past few months. 

“I’ve made the computation. I think we can afford to let everyone rest for a while, with compensation of course. You know, recuperate and get back stronger.”

Dan glanced up at Arin, searching his face. “You want to take a break…from Grumps?”

Arin wouldn’t meet his eyes. He looked almost…defeated.

Arin nodded. “I just think…we all need time, and I want everyone to be in their best shape, you know. It’d be good for you too, Dan. You could finally start that next album with Brian. You guys have been trying to find time to start the writing process, right? I think a thirty-day hiatus would be good enough, yeah?”

“Y-yeah, a paid vacation sounds fantastic, of course, but, Arin…” Dan knew how much income they’d lose for a single day without any uploads. He didn’t want to think about how much they’d all lose for missing a month. Arin isn’t usually the type to just halt work abruptly, and Dan knows this well. 

Dan remembers how Arin flashed him a small smile and said, “Tomorrow, I’ll be talking to Brent about this. Will you help me pitch the idea to him?”

Dan had so many questions, but he swallows them all down when he sees Arin’s determined face. If a break is what Arin needs, then Dan would support him. He’ll always stand beside Arin.

“Of course, I’ll even hold your hand if you want.” He lets out a breath of relief when Arin grins, and this time, the smile reaches his eyes. Dan missed seeing him smile like this.

It feels as if a lightning bolt has hit him on the leg, and the shooting pain rouses Arin from his slumber. His eyes slowly open and everything is too damn bright for him to see what is happening. He sees a couple of figures hunched over him and murmuring behind what he can only guess are surgical masks. Arin realizes he’s not in his hotel room anymore. 

“What…what is going on…” He strains to say, but he finds that it’s hard to talk when another a jolt of torment sears through his lower side. He groans, blinking away the tears he didn’t realize he was shedding. It’s too much, and Arin doesn’t know how much more he can suffer through. Before he knows it, he’s being pulled by a heavy force into sleep, and the low murmurs grow more and more distant as he descends into unconsciousness.

The next time he awakes, Arin finds himself staring at a grey ceiling. He blinks away the drowsiness and tries to push himself to sit up, but quickly winces when he tries to get his legs to cooperate. It’s then that he finally notices the state he’s in. He’s still wearing the black shirt he remembers putting on, although it’s tattered and torn in different places. His left leg is completely wrapped in bandages, and judging from his inability to feel much other than a simmering pain right above his calf, he’s in a cast. He also finds an almost empty IV drip plunged into his arm, making him wonder how long he’s been asleep.

“Oh hey, you’re awake,” a voice quietly says, and Arin whips his head around only to realize that he’s in a room with several other people. Every other person has a bandage of some sort on their bodies, some of them in worse shape than Arin is, and he frowns. Almost everybody is sleeping except for this pale guy one bed over, who’s looking straight at Arin with a small smile.

“I was waiting for you to wake up. You seemed like the only other guy here who could speak English, no offense to these lovely folks,” he says, waving his non-bandaged arm. “I’m Thomas, I’m from France. What’s your name?”

“I’m Arin,” he replies, “How long have I been out?”

Thomas hums, considering the question. Something about this man is familiar to Arin. “Uh, maybe a couple of days? Maybe three? You’ve been asleep for a while, man. I think the nurses were getting worried.”

Arin’s about to ask something else when suddenly, the room starts to move. It’s over in an instant, but the quick tremor still sends Arin into a panic. He puts his hand over his chest and shuts his eyes, feeling his thundering heartbeat through his open palm. Flashes of his hotel room starting to crumble come back to him, and he starts to remember how he got trapped in his own suite, thinking he was going to die. 

The same small voice pierces through his reverie, murmuring his name. “Arin? You doing good there, buddy? It’s just an aftershock. Breathe, you’re okay.”

It takes a while, but Arin calms down, and he slowly opens his eyes again. He doesn’t like how afraid he is, doesn’t like how he’s held so helplessly in this room, how he’s so far away from home. 

“You’re going to be okay, man,” Thomas consoles him again, and Arin hates how his mind betrays him, playing a similar voice in his head again and again.

 _You’re going to be okay, big cat._

He curls his fingers into a fist, digging his nails into his palms to stop the tears that start to stream from his face. He fled to Japan when California started feeling less and less like home and when his marriage started feeling like a weight that he’s lifting alone. Just thinking of California now makes him want to go back, even if it meant that Suzy was right, that maybe, he was lying to her and to himself and it was starting to break them apart.

“I want to go home,” he whispers under his breath. He tries to remember his house, his porch, his street, his office, and all the places that reminded him of comfort, but it’s in hazel eyes and a curly mess of brown hair that his mind settles back into, and it’s the last thought he has before passing out.

Dan has lost track of how many days have passed. He sits on his office chair, staring at his desktop screen. He has been sleeping in his office for a while now and the exhaustion has started to show on his face. Every now and then, he catches himself glancing at the empty office directly adjacent to his own. 

Arin’s absence placed a big black void in the Grumps office, and Dan feels it in every corner, every nook and cranny he turns to. Their staff have all decided to get out of hiatus early to lend a hand in the search for any news, any indication that Arin was alive and out there. Even their old employees have come and camped out in the office, working continuously to translate all survivor lists, press releases, news, and articles talking about survivors and rescued foreigners from the Okinawa quake.

They’ve had a couple of false alarms now, but no one is giving up on their search. One time, Ryan burst into Dan’s office, excitement evident on his face when he shows an article describing an American male who was rescued from near a riverbed, but after making a few calls, Brent confirmed that it was another person.

The hotel staff called at another point to report the discovery of a Caucasian male’s lifeless body from a bar that collapsed near the hotel, and Suzy had started to break down in tears beside Dan, who felt all the color draining from his face. Thankfully, the hotel gave out the descriptions of the man’s body and sent some documents and photos from the local police. It took Dan one glance at the man’s blurry photo to know that it wasn’t Arin. 

He knows Arin’s still out there; he just knows it. 

Dan was too lost in his thoughts that he completely misses the figure standing on his office doorway. 

“Danny,” the figure calls out, and Dan looks up to see Brian holding a piece of paper. He raises his eyebrows at the man, who simply says, “Ross found an unofficial report from the local Red Cross, and we think we found him.”

Dan’s jaw drops and he bounds to Brian in big strides. He takes hold of the paper and shakily tries to read the translated text out loud. 

“…among the people who have been taken to the make-shift clinic for immediate medical help are 178 individuals, including 23 foreigners. We are still awaiting further details on their identity, but some identifying marks are as follows: Patient A, who calls himself “Marcus” has a big tattoo of a dragon on his left arm; Patient B, who referred to herself as “Janice” has a birthmark on her stomach; Patient C, a Caucasian a male who confirmed his name as “Arin” has a blonde stripe on his long hair…”

Dan’s eyes start to water and he has to grab Brian’s arm to keep himself steady as he lets the words sink in. Arin is alive, and he was in a clinic. Arin’s alive and he’s fighting, just like Dan thought he would.

“We found him,” he cries out, letting the tears fall from his eyes. “We found Arin.”

**Author's Note:**

> The title and the theme of the fic was based off of "If the World was Ending" by JP Saxe and Julia Michaels.
> 
> This fic has been designed and planned out to be a slow-burn and will explore some sad themes, such as natural calamities, unhappy marriages, repressed emotions, and some heavy angsty material. This does not in any way mean that I wish for these things to happen to the IRL Grumps in any way.  
> Also, Dan's lover in the fic is unnamed, and she will remain that way. Please do not confuse her with any living persons to respect their privacy.


End file.
